Switzerland Every other friday, I am lucky enough to take a trip to Switzerland. Not the country per say, but my very own personal Switzerland...

It is a lovely place, and in it is a lovely man, who listens to me rant about my lovely little life, and my lovely little problems for 50 minutes, he then provides me with some lovely feedback, and I go on my lovely way.

All in all it is... Lovely.

Yeah, for those of you paying attention, some call it "therapy" but for me, that term denotes a lack of control of things in life, so I prefer to call it 'Switzerland'

So Switzerland and I talked about the last two weeks of my life, and he said that I am not doing well with saying what I think and thinking what I say. All of my life I have had people telling me to shut my mouth, stop saying just what I think, or whatever. ALL OF MY LIFE... Except, of course, those first few years in which I had not fully developed my verbal skills.

And really, I have always considered myself to have a problem with verbal vomit. Apparently I don't have quite the problem that I thought I had, and instead I am verbally constipated.

So here is to the next two weeks, in which I will be practicing saying what I think and thinking what I say.

My condolences to the poor souls who get in my way.  ¶ 11:31 AM 4 comments

  A tid bit on Recycling. Holy Bejeezuz.

Oh Holy Bejeezuz.

Someone explain this one to me.... Why is it that the human race cannot recycle their fucking soda cans, but they find it to be a good idea to recycle past relationships?!?

I mean, seriously, You ditched them/they ditched you for a reason... You thought they smelled, they were OCD, they decided to become a truck driver, they said profanities too much, they treated their mother like garbage, they didn't open your car door, they didn't have doors on their vehicle, they were a prick, they screwed someone else, they screwed several someone elses, they couldn't pony up, they were bad in bed, they were a former porn star, they had too much back hair, they had too little back hair, their mother was crazed.... Whatever. (If I have missed any large flaws let me know.)

There was obviously something wrong with them, so you sent them to the city dump, only the garbage man pulled them out of the trash heap and took them to the recycling plant, and they were melted and reformed into a NEW piece of crap.

News Flash: They are still crap. Still as crappy as ever. Chances are, that the flaw in the plastic, the hole in the aluminum, or the crack in the glass is still there.

Moral of the story: Friends don't let friends reuse crap.  ¶ 11:38 AM 1 comments

  Quotes from the past My life historian used to keep these books of quotes that come out of some peoples mouths, she has random spirals all over the place that have random sayings from television, or friends, or people crossing the street. Whatever,

Let me just share a few things that have come out of my mouth in the past...

- I need ass. I can't even cut my toenails.
(Wasn't I special?!? )

-I am not part of the batch, I am my own cookie.
(I would still say that this applies. But I would love to know the context of this information)

-I am even funnier when I am not being a bitch.
(This, as pointed out by my historian, is not true at all. It is when I am being the ultimate bitch that the really entertaining things begin to flow.)

-I am kind of like the grinch sometimes
(Not really about christmas per say, but I do pride myself in stealing the thunder of my mortal enemies.)

-OK, so back to me.
(This was a classic. I quickly ceased using the term when other people began to use it on me, and although it evoked laughter from my people, I did not find it so amusing.)

- One I had on my voicemail: "I don't go to the bars for a ten, I go for the sixes and drink 'til he is an eight."
(I don't know where I got this little quote, and I hope it's origination was not from my mouth. However, I will not be commenting on the truthfullness of this.)

-I don't drink carbonated beverages, unless it is beer.
(This used to be true, but now I drink carbonated beverages laced with Aspertame and preferably spiked with Jack Daniels.)  ¶ 10:47 PM 1 comments

  What's Your Damage? What is my damage you ask?

Well let me tell you.

My Brother has moved his X Box downstairs, run a cord from the computer room, past my door, the bathroom door, and the stair well, and into the family room so that he can play XBOX live. Not only is it really hideous to have a cord running through half of your house, but it is a safety issue when you are trying to get ready at the ass crack of dawn... I almost bit it, skidded across the floor on my two front teeth, and had a very serious concussion this morning. Fortunately, I managed to regain my balance. Did I mention that the XBOX is in the fricking den?!? Did I mention he likes to turn the volume up so loud that you can forget doing anything productive while he is playing whatever the hell he is playing?!? Hey Bro, when you read this.... Take the hint and find a new home for your toy.

Damage Number 2:

I had a group meeting with my special group from one of my special classes today, Little Miss "I am a freshman and I have my life planned out, and you are a fuck up for not knowing each and every exact step you will take" gets on this hideous rant about god, religion, and moving to Deluth (or somewhere) to go live with some guy she was in band with. First of all, it seems that your plans have changed since last week, who is the fuck up now? Yes, that would be her. And second of all, I am not interested in her life, I am interested in completing this fricking project and moving on with MY life.

Damage Number 3:

Some fuck wit turned up the resistance on the eliptical machine at the gym to 9. I thought I was being a wuss, so I continued on for 30 minutes at resistence level 9. Now I believe that my hips are going to fall out of their socket. No worries, I will at least get wonderwoman legs out of that one.

Damage Number 4:

My dog has this uncanny ability to know where to place her very sharp paws in order to leave a bruise. (Sidebar: I really don't bruise easily- what with getting my ass kicked by my big brother for a good portion of my life and all) I have this hideous bruise on my forearm, that has left me looking like a heroin addict. Fowl Mc Nasty Mc Fowl.

Another sidebar, I learned to link! Thanks Mark!  ¶ 5:16 PM 0 comments

  This Bitch is Back I am a bitch. A total bitch. 100% bonafide bitch.

I like it that way.

Lately, others have convinced me that I need to put the bitch on the backburner in certain situations. Certain situations including but not limited to: When talking to someone who does not know me, when at stores, when trying to get my way, when in class, and when trying to fix a situation.

There are exactly 1440 minutes in a day. At least 480 minutes consumed by sleep. I am not a bitch when I sleep. 120 minutes a day are consumed with driving. I do not suffer from road rage, so therefore I am not a bitch when I am driving. Lastly, at least 60 minutes are consumed with high tech activity (computer, Television, etc.) I am not a bitch when I partake in interesting activities. That is at least 660 minutes of daily activity that I am not a bitch while partaking in.

I have deemed the attitude adjustment portion of my life over. I am tired of saying "please move" when someone is in my way, I am tired of sensoring my verbal vomit when I think people are partaking in stupid activities, I am tired of being cordial and kind when I don't want to be, and most of all I am DAMN tired of having to be nice when all I have been eating lately is High fiber low fat crap and sugar free Jello.

So like I said, This bitch is back. I will not be going out of my way to be a bitch, per say, but if it happens, it happens. Get over it.

Smooches and Kisses.  ¶ 12:33 AM 2 comments

  Take that YOU BITCHES! OK, so I stole my title from Cher, but that is not the point...

Ever since I can remember, I have gotten in soooooooooooooo much trouble for the looks that I give to innocent bystanders, friends, family, enemies, and acquaintances. I can say nice things, but when I don't really mean it, it is written all over my face. Hence the reason for my blunt truthfullness/verbal vomit/diarrhea of the mouth/ 'BeccaDisease.' I mean, why bother trying to say nice things when you manage to get labeled as queen of the bitches anyways, right?

It has been said that looks can kill, So far- try as I might- I have not yet killed anyone. But I have quite some time to continue trying.

People have also said that the looks I give could make someone roll over in their grave- To the best of my knowledge I have not been successful in that one either.

The funny thing is, up until tonight, I had no idea what these people were talking about. None of my (several) looks have ever been caught on camera (much like Big Foot) and some have tried to imitate them, but never successfully.

Tonight, my Heterosexual life partner gave me a look that I can only imagine was straight from my face- for the longest time, she was known as the sweet one, the one who would never say or look at you in a way that would hurt/offend you- Tonight she successfully imitated the look I get on my face when I feel someone is a complete dumbass.

I was not hurt, nor was I offended. In fact I split my sides laughing.... It was frickin' hilarious! Not only did I get to see one of the looks that I have heard so much about for all of these years, but I think it is official...

I have turned June Cleaver into "June Cleaver- Bitch of the bitches"  ¶ 9:29 PM 0 comments

  Super ME!!!

In case any of you were wondering, this is me, drawn by me, because it entertains ME!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha, I did that with the stupid mouse on my I Book, I hope you are impressed. I sure am.  ¶ 8:48 AM 0 comments

  WARNING!!!! In the last seven days, I have been witness to three relationships exploding. In the last month, I have been witness to one marriage, one engagement, and two relationships falling apart at the seems, not including this weeks activities.

This leads me to believe a few things:

One, I am either an excellent advisor of people with relationship issues or

Two, if you value your relationship even a little bit, do not befriend me, do not engage in extracarricular activities with me, in fact, pretend that you do not even know me.... It is for the best, I do request a formal goodbye letter for termination of the friendship- but I understand that if you have to pick between your relationship and our friendship- most of you people in the blogging world will pick your significant others.

The only friend I expect to have left after this is my good old brother- because he has sworn off women after just surviving the psychosis of his last relationship by the skin of his teeth.... Go visit him, www.getes.blospot.com

I, on the other hand, am going to go out and get lots of good luck adornments like rabbits feet, four leaf clovers, and pennies that are head up to combat my apparent streak of bad luck.  ¶ 4:30 PM 1 comments

  What makes you an odd bird??? I am an eclectic little girl, and I really always have been.

I know so many senseless facts, that my reputation preceeds me. For instance, did you know that giraffes have a series of valves in their neck to prevent their head from popping off due to pressure when they bend down to take a drink? Or, do you know what kokigamy is? I do, it is the ancient japanese art of dressing up the penises in paper costumes. My head is jam packed with stupid facts.

I never go anywhere of value without my makeup, not because I look all that different- but just because I like putting it on. On the contrary, I make it a point to go to the grocery store in my pajamas at least once a week.

I have absolutely no patience for grown adults who are not in control of their life... But I am a pro with children. I actually will be making a career out of that.

I love kids, I am really good with them- but I don't know if I want children of my own.

Another case in point of how eclectic I am. I love to run around in heels and dressed all nice with lots and lots of accessories... But I have a collection of absolutely hilarious T-Shirts that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to wear every once in a blue moon... Such as: Vanderbilt Equestrian Team: We only ride the best, or my Saint Bernard tye dye beer shirt. (Yeah, you caught me- I generally "borrow" my most interesting shirts from my brother or other unsuspecting victims)

Here is another good one. I watch the style network, Lifetime, TNT (they really know some drama), or chick flick movies.... But secretly, I like to watch baseball, a little football, and basketball on TV. But not in excess.... Just a little dab will do me.
I have a point to all of this, really I do. I want to know what is so damn weird about you- So let 'er rip!!!  ¶ 9:44 PM 2 comments

  101 Sex Tips Holy Bejeesus,

Cosmopolitan has re-written the same damn article for the 101st time. At least once a year, I walk by the magazine rack, and Cosmo calls my name... I buy it, and then I remember why I stopped my subscription when I was 18.

What caught my eye? Fall's new hair styles. Not new, not good, but since I owned the magazine... I figured I should read it.

These damn 101 sex tips, "Mattress moves so good he will forget his name... But remember yours forever." They write this fricking article every three months, and the tips are always so lame. My god, if you want sex tips, it is time for a trip to the local gayberhood. You will SEE 101 sex tips while trying to decide what bar you want to go into.

Here are a few of my favorites of Cosmo's 'brilliant' ideas from the mouths of idiot straight men (disclaimer: not all straight men are idiots... But there are several that fall into this category.)

-Say My Name. It makes me feel like a man.
(does his mother make him feel like a man when she screams 'Bradley clean your rooom!!!!!!!!!!!!'?)

-Sixty-nine can be hard to pull off, but it's worth trying. While my girl gives me intense oral bliss, I get to watch her legs tremble while treating her to my mouth moves.
(What? In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "I think 69 went out in 1969." And lets talk about this assholes wording.
What the fuck?!?)

-Tell me I feel really big. It is such an ego boost.
(Ummm... Was this some bit of trivia that we have not picked up on? If so, what rock have you lived under?)

- Keep Your boots on.
(This is a good tip, because then when you realize you are having sex with a total ass, you can run- your shoes are
already on afterall.)

-Let's be really loud like-wake-up-the-neighbors loud. I want them to know how damn lucky I am.
(Now won't he be the topic of the next neighborhood association meeting?)

- Instigate a sloppy, full mouth make out session.
(This idea comes from a nineteen year old... But who wants a sloppy kisser? No thanks.)


Holy cannoli, these guys are good for some laughs.  ¶ 4:42 PM 1 comments

  Weekend in Review. After having the crappiest Saturday on the record books..... Sunday certainly is proving to make up for it.

Saturday began with a heinous phone call. It was from my dear friend's father. It went something like this.

"J swallowed a bunch of pills on Tuesday night, we got him to the hospital, the police wanted to take him into protective custody but I talked them out of it. He did it again on Wednesday. (Sob Sob Sob) He is alive, but we are looking for a place to admit him." I was mad, I was angry, I was furious, I was enraged, I was everything but empathetic. It reminded me of my cousin, who tried to commit suicide and was not successful, and will forever be a vegetable. I hate him for it, and now I hate J. Wrong emotions, I know. I wish to god I could change the way I feel, but I can't.


The second phone call of the day was from another doll-faced friend. Someone who loves her deeply had hurt her emotionally and physically. Bad, bad feelings aimed at this person, on behalf of her. She is smart, so she knows that she can no longer be with him- But she also still loves him so she can't hate him, and that is what I can do for her, hate him. She is a phenomenal person, she deserves the very best, and she will prevail. (I know you are reading, I love you.)

After the visit with 'doll face', I was even more enraged. I hated one of my best friends, and now I hated the boy that did this to her. I was filled with hate, so I did what any girl would do, I went home, got into bed, and ate cake.



But SUNDAY, OH SUNDAY!!!!

The joy and fun of Sunday.

I was witness to my very first Gay Pride Parade, in which I was surrounded with high levels of fabulousness, I met Mark from zeitzeuge.org and plenty of his very entertaining friends. (P.S.- I still dont know how to insert links! Help!!!)

I was surrounded by rainbows, drag queens, beads, candy, beer, my old art teacher(also known as annoying jackass with the bandanna), a little marijuanna, and A LOT OF FUN. I needed that.

I saw fabooo floats, and every gay group imaginable was there, Dykes on Bikes, DIVA (Dallas Independent Volleyball Association), and PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), to name a few... If you wanna see pictures, go check out Mark's blog, he took lots of 'em!!!

Then I returned home to shower, and now I shall go meet a few friends for some Sushi and Saki.

Lots and Lots of Saki.  ¶ 12:55 AM 2 comments

  Stalker for sale. I am feeling scandalous,

Very, Very Scandalous.

Last night in my very drunken state, I TRIED to send a text message to my heterosexual life partner's boyfriend.

It said something along the lines of "I am molesting your girlfriend" -total drunk joke by the way.....

Well as I said, I was not of sound mind to be putting numbers into my phone.... And I sort of entered the number wrong (shocker)

Now I have a friend/psychostalker named Antonio, who doesn't speak english very well, who will not stop calling me.

I tried last night to explain to him that I was not sending him the message (once i figured out it really was not the boy fucking with me)... I have tried on three seperate occasions today, in my hungover state, to explain to this freakshow that I was not sending him the message.... But Antonio just called again. And left a voicemail.

Frankly, I am bored with these phone calls. And I am one phone call away from posting his phone number all over anything I can get my hands on.

No, I won't.... At least not right now.  ¶ 4:16 PM 3 comments

  My name is Jack Danielle What did I say about changing my password and NEVER NEVER blogging while drunk?

Well I Lied.

Here I am, a product of Dive Bar Happy Hour gone terribly good (or wrong)- whatever.

Me and my heterosexual life partner accompanied my brother and his terribly hot dread locks friend to happy hour- and stayed until 9 pm. Can we say D-R-U-N-K?!?

And

The ex whatever called me today- and wanted to complain about his relationship that had gone awry. (Big word for a drunk girl) and I wanted to say, "Honey I dont give a rats ass, and Go join a pirates brigade, and walkthe damn plank." But instead I said, oh that is too bad, oh that is so sad, Yeah yeah, relationships suck. But wanna know a secret? I think he made up the whole relationship to have a reason to talk to me..... (yeah, he is that big of a dick wad weisel)

I don't know if you know this, but it is so damn hard to type when you arent sober. I may erase this tomorrow.

Good Night.

**An Edit from the hungover author: I cannot believe how much sense this post makes... Incredible. Edit posted @ 4:26 AM Thursday**  ¶ 9:59 PM 4 comments

  Actions that Ensue when The Three Wise Men are Involved. I feel oh so much better today, Thank you Tylenol Vanilla. The mood had been elevated quite drastically, and so it is time for a brilliant idea from the mind of me.

Topic for the Day: Drunk Dialing, and, (Oh Holy Hell) Drunk Blogging.

I don't really drunk dial, I learned my lesson with that a long time ago, Alcohol induced 'say anything' and Personality induced 'diarrhea of the mouth' is not a good mix. Not good at all- But all in all, I get at least two messages or calls from drunk people weekly, and I read a blog this morning, the author was definately intoxicated.

I listen to the messages, talk to the people, and read this blog and I think to myself "What exactly comes out of my mouth at the heigth of intoxication?" I have seen the home videos, heard the recapped tales, and seen the pictures. Somehow, it is almost unbelievable.... Yet so hilarious.

However, I think that I will be changing my password on my blogging account to something that I cannot remember while I am intoxicated. Yeah, good idea.  ¶ 9:49 AM 1 comments

  Damn the Dreams I am hacked off, and I mean really hacked off...

For those who know me, they can attest to my pissyness when I am lacking in a few things:
1) Food
2) Nicotine (unless I am on the quitters side of things... Which I am not currently)
and
3) Sleep

And Damned if I am lacking in the sleep department. Not because I don't have the time to sleep, but because of the Frickin' dreams that are flooding my mind when I try.

First, I dreamed I would never have sex again. -NIGHTMARE!-

Then, I dreamed that I was having a kid, and my best friend thought it was her boyfriends, and she wouldn't listen to me. -NIGHTMARE ON SO MANY DIFFERENT PLANES!-

Then, it was the reocurring dream that I was in some public place with no pants on. -Which is so very unsettling-

Finally, it was the dream that I was in the bar, totally ostracized by everyone but Jack(Daniels that is), and they were all pointing and whispering -TERRIFYING-

So I am now afraid to go to sleep.... I will prevail by taking some Tylenol Vanilla (My name for Tylenol PM)...

Or maybe I should take an elephant tranquilizer. Something, anything.  ¶ 6:23 PM 0 comments

  The Many Mantras of my life. We all have our little sayings that creep up in daily conversation, or actions.... Some people's are more normal than mine, but you get the point.

I spent my Saturday with my Heterosexual Life Partner, and as we were talking out the problems and joy of our life, it struck me just how odd the two of us are. We are so the same, yet so different. The things that make her tick don't even bother me- and the stuff that just sends me over the edge, she could care less about. But the stuff we agree on, is simply put, BIZZARRE. Case in point to follow.

-The term 'fag hag' is repulsive... We have settled on the term "Too glamorous for straight men"

- "Fuck It I am Fabulous"- Because we are, and if you can't get that- we don't get you.

- Our favorite toasts: "Here is to the men we love, and here is to the men who love us, and if the men we love don't love us, then fuck them and heres to us." -OR- "I hope all of your joy is pure joy, and all of your pain is champagne' -OR- "Here is to the husbands who have won you, the losers who have lost you, and here is to the lucky bastards who have yet to meet you." (Did I mention we were drinking at noon?)

-'Permission to chainsmoke?' and then, permission is granted or denied based on the situation's stress level.

and my personal favorite... Lifted from my heterosexual life partner in law...

-"Bless it or Block it." And by this I mean If it is gonna happen, make it lovely and enjoyable or quick and painless... And if it isn't, get it out of our line of sight.  ¶ 10:20 AM 3 comments

  Now Accepting Applications I would like to make yet another public service announcement....

I am now accepting applications for a vacancy in my life that needs to be filled.

The position of Sugar Daddy requires no formal education, no former work experience, and no practical life experiences. It merely requires that you have access to a large amount of spending cash or credit cards,and you are willing to spend frivalously for me. There is an age limit, fetuses need not apply.

That shouldn't be too hard to find, right?

I know I have previously mentioned the whole Champagne taste, Boones Farm Income issue... Most would say 'get a damn job'- I have one.... The next piece of (very obvious) advice would be 'get a better job.' I doubt seriously that there is a job better than mine....

What is the problem you ask? My job is soooooo fabulous- based on the money for hours worked, I am 99.9% certain that I will be taking a paycut when I enter the real working world .... My job is soooo supercalifragilisticexpialidocious- I only have to work with one other person, and she is the best boss ever.... My job is soooooo extrodinary- I set my hours, I only work when I feel it necessary.

And that is the problem, I think I probably work say.... five hours a week. The rest of my time is spent going to school, drinking, sleeping, shopping, eating, gossiping, finding trouble to make or get into... You know- the really important things in life.

So what would make my day is to spend someone elses money. If I get more than one worthy applicant, I will be happy to share with others who would like a similar arrangement. But since I feel that the applicants aren't exactly going to be flying in- I am making a new week resolution...

I, Ms. S'ghetti, do solemnly promise to double my work time for the week, because I really need to be the proud owner of some cowboy boots, and I need them stat.  ¶ 6:35 PM 0 comments

  Beauty School Dropout OK, this post shall come with a warning... All same sex oriented males, brothers, or friends of the brother, should turn back now.... RUN FAR, FAR, AWAY! KEEP RUNNING!

Still with me? OK, but I warned you. No bitching later.

Let me tell you of an experince that I had yesterday. My dear friend, Katherine, and I decided to go to the poor man's spa (AKA Beauty University- ok... AKA beauty school) for a facial and a blow out. While booking the appointments I realized that a bikini waxing was in order for myself, and how bad could these jokers possibly fuck it up?

So what the hell, I wasn't scared- A bikini wax to boot.

The facial was just fine, the blow out was A OK, but the bikini wax, oh the bikini wax....

Let me preface you people with a little tid bit about waxing.... One should always use powder so not to rip the skin off with the hair, and one should always pull the skin tight so not to bruise the skin when pulling out the hair. Really and seriously, this should not be too difficult.

But take my advice, DO NOT allow a Beauty School Esthiticial to wax the bikini area.

By the end of this procedure, I had Katherine (who was there to supervise the activities, to ensure that these assholes knew what they were doing- which she tried to protect me as best she could), Beauty School Dropout number one, Beauty School Dropout number two, and the instructor supervising.

All in All, mission accomplished. I only lost skin in one place, the pain was average, and I will be going back to Highland Park the next time said activity is in order because stupid ideas and the activities that ensue really shouldn't be repeated.  ¶ 6:11 AM 2 comments

  Special I am so special... In fact, when someone asks how I am, I tell them "I am special." I usually get a giggle out of my response, because they- of course- think I am kidding. But I am not. I am, in fact, special. Here is why

I put the pro in procrastination. I had six papers due at 9 o' clock this morning, I began writing them last night.

I have deemed myself fashion police of the University of North Texas. It is an UGLY job but someone's gotta do it.
**** A few public service announcements:
1) I know that sequines are in, but under no circumstances is it OK to roll in these sparkly pieces of tin foil and
go out of the house before, say, 7 PM.
2) Tevas are not acceptable unless you are camping, or hiking, or doing something woodsy- even then it is
questionable
3) Shorty Mc Short jean skirts and your boyfriends t shirt does not constitute cuteness.
4) If you so insist on carrying a fake LV, fake Chanel, or fake anything. Please for the love of all that is good
and holy, do your damn research and make sure that this fake looks somewhat real.
5) If you are going to stare, put some sunglasses on so it isn't quite so obvious.

I get such a kick out of watching people do stupid things, like for instance, I am currently watching a fencing 1000 course in action. Seriously amusing.

Now I must go to class. And think on more reasons on why I can accurately describe my mood as special.  ¶ 10:43 AM 1 comments

  Nobody Likes me... Everybody Hates Me.... Guess I'll go eat worms. Dam*it! Dam*it Dam*it Dam*it!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, non existent blog readers world wide- I AM PISSED! I have written posts, I know people are reading, somewhere.... Even if it's only my brother and best friend- Someone is reading.

AND I WANT SOMEONE to leave a DAM* COMMENT!

So when I signed on this morning, and someone had left a comment, I was so very blissfully excited! I clicked to read it, and it was some jack ass promoting a friggin' search engine.

My hopes and dreams shattered. So here I am, bitching and moaning to the world wide web.

Yes, now I have turned on the word verification. And Yes, I have removed Mr. Search Engine's un comment. I can only equate my feelings to one situation....
Picture it: Third world country, somewhere where they sell their children on the internet to be brides.... I place my best looking child on the internet, and I wait.... I wait, and wait, and wait..... Someone places a bid. And it is some imbred a**hole from Arkansas (No offense to those from Arkansas- but I am on a roll) and they bid one dollar. COWS!

On a total random sidebar, You people have got to check out my new favorite blog....

www.zeitzeuge.org If I knew how to make the cool little link, I would- But I don't. So get over it. By the way, I so want to go to Rainbow Ranch!  ¶ 10:34 AM 2 comments

  Champagne taste.... Boone's Farm Income. Ladies and gentlemen,

Although I am an unusual college student.... I am a college student all the same. This means two things. First of all, I have no friggin' clue what I am doing with my life when I finish pursuing all of the degrees that I want... (Hell, I don't even know if I will be married when I finish pursuing all of my degrees) And two, I am basically poor. But I still have the champagne taste that my family instilled in me growing up. I just cannot force myself to be the owner of a purse that is not just fabulous.... I don't appreciate disposable clothing, and I love gaudy baubles.... I have learned to be fabulous on a shoestring... I buy cheap gaudy baubles from Sam Moon, I buy shoes off of the sale rack (or at least from DSW shoe warehouse), my clothes no longer come from North Park Mall, and I wear cheap sunglasses- and to be really honest my look is still better than most. In fact it was decided by my best girlfriend that we are far more posh now than when we were in college the first time around. But sometimes, you have a moment of weakness or a moment of stupidity, or the gods bring a B-E-Autiful piece of loveliness to you... Sometimes it happens... And sometimes you cannot pass it up. It just wouldn't be right.

People, the god's brought me this fabulous plum purse- Via Neiman Marcus Last Call, and It would have been a slap in the shopping god's face to pass up the beauty and serenity of the supple leather, satin lined, miraculous creation of a fabulous designer.... So I did what any girl would do....

I called my Daddy... And my Daddy graciously allowed me to purchase the purse and place it on a payment plan.... If I ever figure out how, I will post a picture of the fabulousness.

It really was worth every penny.  ¶ 7:54 PM 0 comments

  List List List While wasting time in class the other day, (yes, I know I should probably listen to what my professors are saying, but this was far more entertaining...) Then I read my usual blogs, and they are all doing these seven things lists... So here are mine. PS does anyone know how to blogroll?

Places I want to Live:
1) Australia
2) Tuscany
3) Hawaii, or an Island state of some form
4) Seattle
5) England
6) Sub Saharan Africa
7) Grand Cayman Islands

Jobs I want to Have:
1) World Health Orgaanization
2) Children's Hospital Child Life Coordinator
3) Modern Art Gallery Curator, or something...
4) Artist,
5) Public Health Job within the gay community
6) Movie Critic
7)Doggie Daycare Owner

Things I want to Accomplish by my thirtieth birthday:
1) Have a bachelors, masters, and at least be working on my doctorate
2) Know exactly what I want to do with my life, and know somewhat how to get there
3) Be 130 pounds.
4) Have traveled to five new countries.
5) Be financially stable enough to take a African Safari
6) Change someone's life for the better
7) Have the ability to empathize with all walks of life.

Things I want to own
1) I POD photo
2) A new digital camera
3) A very expensive purse- one that I have insurance on because it is so ridiculous.
4) A fabulous wardrobe
5) Beautiful, Comfortable, Shoes
6) New MAC makeup
7) A puppy

Things I would change about myself if I could
1) My struggle with my weight, I would so love to not have to worry about what I am putting in my face...
2) My arms
3) My flabby stomach, I want a sixpack- but not a gross American Gladiators one, just a really tight stomach.
4) The 'looks' that I get on my face that I always manage to get into trouble with.
5) I would make myself able to sing.
6) I would change my boobs, so that I didn't have to wear a bra...
7) I would make my acid tounge a little less prominent, but I wouldn't make it go away.

Things I would never change about myself
1) My eyes
2) Anything about my face... Except the faces that I make
3) My nurturing ability (I have never given birth, but I am everyone's mama)
4) My sausage toes- they are kinda cute
5) The fact that I am not codependent on codependence, or interdependence for that matter.
6) My personality
7) My family  ¶ 7:20 PM 0 comments