Perfect is now.   ¶ 2:56 PM 0 comments

  On My Terms People like to pretend that I do everything 'on my terms'

But I don't.

I really should start though.

Definite flaws in the system. Huge gaping holes.

E.G.- To do what I want when I want, I would have to be 100% comfortable being alone all the time. And to be quite honest, I don't like to be alone.

I like people surrounding me. I don't need them to fuel my fire, but I do like them to fire back at me.

Which leads me to point two. It has come to my attention that my friends are better than yours. And if you have the same friends as I do, consider yourself damn lucky.

So, bitches, if I were to do things on my terms today, here is what the plan would be:

1) Tell one person off.
2) Go buy myself my newest addition to the jewelry family, a Gucci bracelet.
3) Eat lunch with someone who means the world to me.
4) See my godbaby.
5) See Scott Francis and tell him thank you.

End of Story.  ¶ 11:11 AM 0 comments

  Yesterday was a shitty day. TOday is better.

But let me just say. I have now comprised a list of people who need to check their powertrip at the door. For your reading pleasure, I have written it out.

-Meter Maids. Really. YOur job is to ticket cars. This does not make you God's right hand man. Further more, that little ticket machine you carry around does not double as a septar and make you royalty. While we are on it, your little outfit sucks, and if you thought you were royalty, when you look in the mirror and see drab taupe staring back at you, you should be less confused.

-Those damn TA's that do things like say 'don't waste my time by asking me questions.' Really? You get your financial aid because people like me have questions.

-The other variety of TA's that think I am actually interested enough in statistics to require me to write a long ass paper on a long ass theory that will only be used maybe twice in my life.

-That 'know it all' that is in all of your classes, whom I believe, is hired by the university solely to irritate the everloving SHIT out of you. The particular know it all in question frustrated the teacher so much that she LITERALLY did the 'zip it' hand sign when he began babbling about how short middle eastern people were, and how freakishly huge Americans were in the middle of stats class.

-Those that feel that they have some power or control over me, when in all reality, they don't. If I do not talk to you twice a week, if you do not partake in any of the three F's, and if you are not an educator that has me on your role, YOU DON'T OWN ME. Don't send me text messages telling me where I am supposed to be, or anything crazy like that.

I don't know about you, but I definately feel better.  ¶ 2:39 PM 0 comments

  I am angry. Let me start this by saying: I had a superb night with wonderful company. And I am not in any part angry about that.

But I am angry all the same.

As Signalite put it, people are wonderous, and broken, all at the same time. I definitely fall into that category.

For a while, when I shattered, I lost my ability to harness my temper. There was no fiery anger or yelling. It was quite simply, an internalization. I had lost my greatest power, my linguistic skill.

It was like being a turtle without a shell. When people said they were sorry, I would automatically say it was ok, even when it really was anything but. When I didn't want to do something, I would do it anyways, so not to rock the proverbial boat.

But today, for the first time in a long time, I am angry. I am not just a scathing heap of internalized angry, and I have my words as wind in my sail.

Strangely, it is empowering to be mad when you are mad. It feels oddly good. It is almost comparable to putting your feet in the perfect shoes, where you know they will fit. Even though I hate to be angry. It is, without a doubt, bittersweet.

It is a feeling I vow to never appologize for.  ¶ 9:13 PM 0 comments

  Work it girl Ahhhhh the pride parade. It will teach you many a thing.

This year was no different.

Behold, a list of the things I learned yesterday at the pride parade.

1) Large Lesbians with Large snakes(p.s. Snakes are the number one carrier of E. Coli) should be avoided, or they will try to make you pet their little friend.

2) Thin seems to be on its way out in the gay world. Pour queso in your coffee cup. It is time to plump up.

3) Rain may make your outfit less than fabulous. But it is fine all the same.

4) Vodka probably isn't a safe choice if the doctor puts you on a clear liquid diet.

5) DIVA fame spreads outside of the brunch circle and into the general public when you are greeted with 'OOOHHHH I know you. YOu are the only female on The Detroit Boys wall!'

6) My brunch group is better than yours. Hands down.

7) Haloween is going to trump all this year.

8) Good friends WILL tell the eleven year old with a spitting problem that is standing in your viscinity to stay away from you because of the unadulterated hatred for children.

9) Paying $50 for a table does not give you free reign to be an uncontrollable bitch.

10) All of the crap the parade people throw out is NOT worth fighting for (Ahem. JeffJeffJeff)

11) If you choose to be on a float, you should get coaching lessons on the toe pop and cheesy grin from the famed Southwest Employee with the pompoms and the airplane around his waist.  ¶ 3:07 PM 0 comments

  There are two sides to every story. After my very lovely roadtrip with the very lovely whitney (pictures to follow soon) wherein we partook in very fun activities, such as throwing a 'Religion 101' CD into the Mississippi river, entertaining ourselves in the tiny little river towns that are in the bootheel of Missouri, realizing that my happiness is directly correllated to the number of bars on my cellular device, and doing the whole DC tourist things.... I boarded the airplane for my dissent home.

I am now suffering from some seriously painful lower abdominal pain that is completely inexplicable by the modern doctor. I am going to see doctor #2 today.

But seriously, it hurts.

On the other hand, I am very excited, as the lovely Detroit boys are hosting the drunken soiree that is the gay pride parade pre and post party at their new NOT IN DETROIT abode.

By the way, I miss my brunch boys, they are like my religion.  ¶ 6:31 AM 0 comments

  The death of a rodent. As many of you former UNT-ites may know, tragically, the unofficial mascot of UNT has come to an untimely and ever tragic death via hawk hunting.

For the rest of you that don't have any idea as to what I am talking about, there was a white rat with a pretty tail (also known as an albino squirrel) that had decided to take up residency at UNT. They had made a club for him, they had several pictures adorning this rather large university of him, and they even had an 'albino squirrel crossing' in which wheeled objects were not allowed. Students in his fanclub had built a rather lovely little abode for our rodent friend. Unfortunately, whilst our little friend was out on a midnight stroll, a hawk ate him for dinner.

I have several questions that are swirling around in the commode of my brain. This is such a fascinating matter and all.

I mean, how are we to know that our rodent friend died at the hands of a hawk? Did someone spot it? Because last I checked, hawks aren't exactly city dwelling avians. Better yet, do we have a security guard whose sole job is to watch the squirrel at night? Or even better. night vision cameras? Which is it? OR-- Is it a conspiracy theory... Did the president of the university accidentally run over the squirrel whilst riding his bike through the no wheel zone? And it is one big cover up? Is this the next watergate?

This untimely death could prove to be the next big conspiracy, second only to the death of JFK.

But that isn't important, what is is what they are doing to commemorate the life of this freak of nature.

They, I shit you not, have erected memorials all over campus. Some students are expressing their loss through art via sidewalk chalk. Others still, decided to go to the candlelight vigil or 9 AM prayer service that the student body put on.

Rest in peace little freak of nature rodent. Rest in peace.  ¶ 10:10 AM 2 comments

  We Are... We Are... The Catty Bitches of a Nation. Darlings,
Everyone deserves a themesong. And that is ours. With a few word changes.

And if you deny that, you are lying.  ¶ 8:46 AM 1 comments

  Gobble Gobble. Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement.

I am going to be partaking in Turkey Fest this year.

I will be traveling to the fine podunk towne of Cuero. This huge event features alcoholic beverages, turkey races, and barbecue cook offs. I can't imagine anything better. What's more- the turkeys that do not win the turkey race get slaughtered and eaten! Yay fun!

And really, I am thrilled to mingle with the locals.  ¶ 10:31 AM 1 comments