Normal Me is not the picture of normalcy I have come to the conclusion, many therapy sessions later, that I am the picture of mental health.

I am the fucking snapshot on the cover of the DSM IV.

That is a total lie.

But, a dear friend brings up the poignant arguement that maybe none of us are completely sane. Maybe none of us work in a 'Normal' way.

I will readily admit that I have different moods. Daily. Maybe these moods can be renamed to different personalities.

I also talk to myself... Not in the 'lets make a list' sense, but in the full blown conversation sense. Just this morning I was having a full blown discussion about my breakfast choice. S'Ghetti 1 wanted a Lean Pocket. S'Ghetti 2 wanted Chex cereal and a banana.

For the record, S'Ghetti 2 won. She usually does.

Some call it quarky. Some call it weird. Some call it just plain fucking nuts. I shall hence forth refer to myself as the picture of normalcy.  ¶ 8:14 AM 1 comments

  This is one of those weeks that complete strangers decide it would be very appropriate to divulge their innermost secrets to me.

The funniest thing about this is that I am so SO SO bad at hiding my true feelings. Ask anyone that spends a nominal amount of time with me, and they will be happy to tell you. I am awful at it.

So, Monday, I was sitting in class. Random pregnant girl sits down, asks how I am doing, I say fine, and return the smalltalk favor and ask how she is doing. She then divulges that her boyfriend (AKA Babydaddy) is more than likely cheating on her. She goes on to say that the day the child was conceived she caught him in bed with another woman. But not to worry, they have worked it out and are going to have the baby and live happily ever after. Only she is fairly certain he is still cheating. The look on my face must have been priceless.

Tuesday, more of the same. Class acquaintance is sitting next to me, I am talking on AIM to a friend who had sent me some pictures, class acquaintance leans over and says "I am two and a half months pregnant." I nearly fell out of my chair. She then goes through the story of how she found out on Friday, it was a complete shock. Her boyfriend, upon hearing this news, said something to the effect of 'I love you but I am not madly in love with you.' Followed by 'I never want to get married, and I never wanted children.'

I spend my time making statements to my girlfriends and gayfriends like 'boys suck' and 'men are the scum of the earth' and on and on and on... But I realized something, girls are stupid. S- T- U- P- I- D. In fact, I would go so far to say that the entire human race is made up of walking talking idiots.  ¶ 9:05 AM 1 comments

  Lets Evaluate the situation... Time for another infamous S'Ghetti intervention.

Friends, I am worried about my best friend.... Really truly worried.

For my better half, June 'the bitch' Cleaver, has declared her deep rooted desire to attend a highschool prom.

June is not an ugly girl.

June, though bitchy at times, is not ugly on the inside either.

June was in attendance at her highschool prom.

June simply wants to go because she thinks it would be lovely to get a pretty dress and have her hair done. Never mind the fact that she gets her hair done all the time. Never mind the fact she can do her own up do daily.

Yes, my friends, it is time to buy June a special white jacket that ties her arms behind her back (also referred to as a straight jacket) and drive her to North Texas State Hospital for a lovely... Ahem... Vacation, of sorts.

Please, June, if you really want to wear a pretty dress, I suggest you go on a cruise.  ¶ 7:38 PM 1 comments

  A purge of thought. At the risk of taking away from the beauty of my very gaudy ring, I have something on my mind... Tugging at me... And I need to remove it.

I feel the need for change. I feel the need for something new, something shiny, something different. I don't think I am ready to grow up, and with graduation looming closer by the day, I find it hard to go to class. I am not ready. (Insert jokes about being 24 and still in college here.)

But the bottom line is, I made some choices, and walked some paths that made me be grown up. It is overrated.

I am not ready for the real world. I am ready for real money, but the thought of pushing papers and sitting behind a desk for forty hours a week makes my gag reflex work overtime.

It is not the people that I am leaving. I love the people that are in my life, I love my friends, I love my family. I couldn't do what I do without them...

I know it is inevitable. I know that one day I will have to bite the bullet and do it. But that day is not today.

Today, I decided I want to do something unforgettable this summer. I want to be somewhere that is sunny with lots of pools all summer. I would also like to make money.

Tall order, I know. But I have a couple of choices.

1) Go back to Disney, and complete a summer internship.

2) Be a camp counselor.

I became so wrapped up in the idea of sun and water that I applied. To both. I then bounced my plan off of three people. Reactions???

Scotty Pants: Go for it. Have fun with that.

June 'The Bitch' Cleaver: Lots of yelling via AIM, and then in essence an 'I will no longer discuss this with you' hang up. (Which is signing off without saying goodbye- in our little nettiquite world... That is very hostile)

Mother: "Well if you make that choice, I will choose to sell the house and move." (Thereby fucking me for the rest of my collegiate time. As I will have no free place to live, and will then have to go to work full time, go to school full time, and be generally full time busy. Which, as most of you know, will make for an extremely unhappy S'Ghetti)

Well FUCK!!!

And the thing is that I made myself a promise not too long ago that I would be my own biggest fan, I would be my own biggest supporter, I would never NEVER NEVER lose myself in anyone or anything ever again. I promised all of that. Not to someone, to myself.

So if I back down off of my plan, is it selfish? Is it smart? Or is it giving in, and thereby breaking my pact with myself?  ¶ 8:54 PM 1 comments

  'It is not tacky, it is tasteful, in a very gaudy way.' Here Yee, Here Yee...

Announcing the arrival of the most beautiful thing on the block.

Her name; Jesebelle


A Five Carat Smoky Topaz, set in yellow and white gold.

A fine dellicacy if I do not say so myself.  ¶ 6:56 PM 2 comments

  Tag homage. On my Myspace account, I was tagged.

So I shall pay up here.

Five Interesting things that people do not know about you:

1) Recieving presents from people outside of my family makes me nervous. I also judge the gift mostly by the card that is attached to it. In other words, the card is more important than the gift.

2) I hate to brush my teeth. I do it anyways, but it is by and by the worst activity of the day.

3) I have an unnatural fondness of my bed. I also keep many random items in bed with me including but not limited to: scissors, telephones, medicine, my computer, and a Mr. Potato Head toy.

4) I have a hammer in a heart shaped vase sitting on my nightstand. I don't know why it is there, but I kind of like it and I have no intention of moving it.

5) I like to drink anything and everything from wine glasses. Wine glasses make everything taste better.

OK. There you have it. Five interesting things about me.

Who shall I tag?

-Scotty Pant
-Bryan
-June
-Andreaguita
-So Not Right

Have fun with that...  ¶ 12:00 PM 0 comments

  Sleeping beauty never dreamed. Dreams.

I don't like for anything to disturb my beauty sleep.

When it is an act of my own mind, I become unneccesarily frustrated.

I am not really sure WHAT the dream was about but I do know that it involved me breaking and entering, traveling cross country in an old ass mini van with lawn chairs instead of regular seats, changing a flat tire, and sustaining my existance off of teddy grahams.

On another note, something fabulous is brewing today....

Something super shiny will be born.

Be excited. Be very excited.  ¶ 5:01 AM 2 comments

  Here I go again... Last night was like invasion of the body snatchers took over my brain.

It happens every once in a while.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh. Sometimes, I shake my head in horror.

Probably a little of both right now...

Why? Oh why? Does this happen?

I explain it like this. I am getting better at this verbal filter thing, you know, shutting my mouth...

And better I am, until something rubs me the wrong way, or strikes me as odd, or a catalyst of any form (large or small) strikes.

It is then a series of the elusive truthballs of destruction, or truthquestions of destruction.

Lets Recap.

- DAP calls. To 'appologize' in general. I found this entire conversation to be highly annoying.
- I ask someone questions. Not really the correct time OR place for that.
- I ask June what my worst quality is as a friend.
- I tell June what her worst quality is as a friend.
- I tell someone too much.

What do we do in situations of this magnitude?

Say it with me now, Thank You, Tylenol Vanilla   ¶ 6:38 AM 0 comments

  Here I go again... Last night was like invasion of the body snatchers took over my brain.

It happens every once in a while.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh. Sometimes, I shake my head in horror.

Probably a little of both right now...

Why? Oh why? Does this happen?

I explain it like this. I am getting better at this verbal filter thing, you know, shutting my mouth...

And better I am, until something rubs me the wrong way, or strikes me as odd, or a catalyst of any form (large or small) strikes.

It is then a series of the elusive truthballs of destruction, or truthquestions of destruction.

Lets Recap.

- DAP calls. To 'appologize' in general. I found this entire conversation to be highly annoying.
- I ask someone questions. Not really the correct time OR place for that.
- I ask June what my worst quality is as a friend.
- I tell June what her worst quality is as a friend.
- I tell someone too much.

What do we do in situations of this magnitude?

Say it with me now, Thank You, Tylenol Vanilla   ¶ 6:38 AM 0 comments

  Crossing the anonymity border. Did you people out in the blog-o-sphere miss me?

I missed me too.

But I am fighting an invisible battle.

The battle of anonymity versus complete and total loss of privacy.

Back when I started this blog, no one knew who Ms. S'Ghetti was. No one knew where the words came from, who was being discussed, or what was really going on.

And the blog grew from one lonely reader, to two. From two to four. From four to not enough, but still too many.

And my words have been shoved back in my mouth.

I mean, really, what is the fun of dissecting my personal life, when the people that are so damn fun to discuss are sitting on the other end of a computer reading your inner most thoughts?

And do I discuss them anyways?

Or do I talk about my shoes instead?

Is there a way to get the anonymity back?

Am I willing to get the anonymity, if it means losing all of the people that read?

Is there even a reason to write if no one reads?

Do I blog because I like the attention?

All questions that I have been mulling over during my blog hiatus.

I didn't find the answers. But I am back anyways.

Look forward to tomorrows post on my shoes.  ¶ 1:11 PM 1 comments

  What did you do this Saturday? What did you do this Saturday at 8 AM?



If the answer is not drinking, you are just NOT a good little Dallas Leprechaun.

Such a degenerate day. Lets recap.

-Note that we couldn't even all wear green like every other person at the parade. Nope. We are that degenerate.

-I would like to note that this picture was taken at 9:54 AM. Notice the sauced look about everyone.

-Someone fell off of the porch and into those bushes. No names will be mentioned.

-Someone was kicked out of the bar three times.

-Conversations took place that should never have been brought to light. Hilarious at that.

-Irish car bombs curdle. There is nothing worse than consuming curdled alcohol.

Saint Patrick was probably rolling over in his grave with all of the activity that happened on Saturday.  ¶ 4:42 PM 3 comments

  Sad days. Today might possibly be the saddest day of your lives as I, Ms. S'Ghetti, have been infected with the Avian Flu, Round Two.

I have those Mucinex phlegm monsters residing in my chest.

I am generally irritated by most everything.

And I have decided to take matters into my own hands... By self medicating.

With Alcohol.

Any requests for my earthly posessions in the event of my untimely death can be made in the comment box.  ¶ 9:56 AM 3 comments

  The Preambles of a Trip to the Looney Bin It has been proven time and time again that birds of a feather stick together.

And with that, I have an announcement.

If you are not, have not, or never will, experience a few temporary moments of insanity... I am just not certain that we can be friends.

A few weeks ago, I was suffering from every mental disorder in the DSM IV. I was completely and totally intolerable. I was, for lack of a better descriptor, a bitch.

Yet my friends took it all in stride. They listened to me bitch, they kept the giggles to a minimum when I was being completely unreasonable, and most of all... They did not take me on a 'spa vacation' to the nearest mental institution.

Really, I didn't completely understand exactly how they dealt with me...

And then it dawned on me... Last night, it was my turn to sit across the table from my dear friend as she had a mini meltdown. I listened. I empathised. I laughed.

The question was brought to mind... Where does it cross the line, from crazy but still functioning in the real world to that girl needs a one way ticket to crazy towne???

After much consideration... I have some criteria to judge one's C.Q. (Craziness Quotient)

-If we begin doling out any worldly posessions to our dearest friends... Or to strangers... One way ticket to the mental institution

-Conversations are being held with 'imaginary friends'... One way ticket.

- Inanimate objects talking to you??? Giving you advice??? One way ticket.

The rest can be handled with an intensive outpatient therapy regimen, also known as your dear friends. When you feel like you are loosing footing on the world, all you have to do is hold on tight and bitch really loudly.  ¶ 6:16 AM 0 comments

  Three Divas DO NOT a threesome make But rest assured gentlemen, if you date one of us you are really dating ... well... all of us. To put it simply if you are currently dating, have ever dated or are considering dating Ms. FABULOUS S'ghetti you have also dated, dated or are considering dating Elle and June.

I, Elle, will explain in this phenomenon in myguest blog du jour .

The concept you must wrap your mind around is this: none of us make any major decisions without consulting the other two. We keep no secrets from each other, we have no problem sharing our opinions with one another, and we all respect each other enough to carefully consider any advice given to us.

The question you must ask yourself is "Am I genteel enough to handle the high level of glitz, glamour and general fabulousness associated with dating three divas at once?" If the answer is no, stop reading immediately because the following list does not apply to you.

If your answer is yes, you're in luck because I, Elle, am providing you with some advice regarding the "date one diva, date three" phenomenon. A how to list, if you will, of "how to keep Ms. S'ghetti's divas happy with you"

1 ~ Always admire Ms. FABULOUS S'ghetti. Admire her not only for her unique personality but for the wardrobe she wears while with you. June and I have contributed advice, accessories and valuable fashion insight for each important date outfit.

2 ~ On that note - flattery will get you everywhere. Be sure to shower all three divas with compliments. But be sure to compliment June and I in a manner that does not suggest flirtation. You may only flirt with Ms. S'ghetti.

3 ~ If you err in Rule No. 2 or in any other way - Remember it is easier to win back the trust, love and affection of Ms. S'ghetti than it is to win back the trust, love and affection of June and I. If you behave like a cad - we hold grudges longer. Not because we're bitchy but because we're not dating you. Consequently we care, love and trust you less anyway and obviously we believe in the "one strike" rule. Simply put, be on your best behavior at all times because June and I will always be readily equipped with a list of your vices.

4 ~ Pretentiousness is considered a vice by many. It is only acceptable when dating Ms. S'ghetti if it's Clark-Gable-as-Rhett-Butler-in-Gone with The Wind-esque. Basically, if you're going to act in a pompous manner you MUST have all the pomp and circumstance to back it up. Nothing is worse than a mule in a horse's harness. If that illusion escaped you - you need to stop reading now, go watch Gone With the Wind, and re-ask yourself the aforementioned critical questions before you continue reading.

5 ~ If we divas wanted to take on a project we'd learn a new craft or take up belly dancing. None of us DATE projects. We have better things to do than discuss how to improve your wardrobe, personality, intellect, and cultural experience whilst sipping martinis. If you are less than suave and debonair save yourself and us the time.

6 ~ Anyone can be a man. It's the gentlemen that matter to us. This means opening car doors, doors to buildings, helping into chairs, helping out of coats, ordering for us, giving gifts... in general if you're unsure of how to behave as a gentleman refer to the movie mentioned in "how to" no. 4 and you'll get the idea within the first five minutes.

Sure, there are more "how to's" but ... a girl has to have some secrets  ¶ 10:07 AM 2 comments

  Story Time Round Two OK people. It is time for another rowdy rendition of Story Time-- Round Two.

The name of the game, for those who have never played it is 'Lets Tell A Story!' Every time you open the link to this blog, you MUST and I mean MUST add a piece to the story (in the comment box)

As always, I will begin...

Once Upon a Time in a Land Far Far Far Far Far Far Far away there was this frog, who thought he may be a prince, but was really unsure. So he stayed in the proverbial frog prince closet...   ¶ 8:05 AM 3 comments

  Tom the 'Token Gay Friend' Sometimes my mind works in very mysterious ways....

...Today was no exception.

***Before reading on, I request that my gay readers not be offended by this and take it in the light that it was intended***

I get on Myspace to find a friend request from Tom the Token Gay friend.

I clicked deny, as I have plenty of "Tokens." Plenty.

Then I started thinking... If I traded all of my gay friends in for a $10 bill, I would be damn near rich. I would then invest my gay money in the stock market, and definately be rich. Not that I would trade anyone for a $10 bill, I am just saying...

Then another thought hit me, what if all of my Gay friends were turned into Barbie dolls? I would have a whole Matel doll store.

The thought of having little plastic gay men made me laugh until I cried.

And then my next great business venture hit me... I should make Boy Barbie dolls in all of the different gay flavors. We will have the twinks, we will have the otters, the bears, every subculture will be represented... And all of these boy barbies will come naked. Why naked? Because YOU get to pick the accessories! We will have leather, baby D&G outfits, Kenneth Cole, we will have the whole gammett. Furthermore, we will also have accessories for these boybarbies including, but not limited to, the hankie codes hankerchiefs, jewelry, hell.... we will even have boybarbie condoms.

I am telling you, I could be holding the key to the next big thing.

Now... Who wants to invest their lifesavings in my hairbrained scheme?  ¶ 4:57 AM 2 comments

  Spring has Sprung Ahh the joys of Texas.

Last week it was fracking winter, I needed my galoshes, It was DAMN cold.

And then, in only the way that Texas can do, Spring sprung.

I had all of these plans for my spring wardrobe.... It was going to be a 50's inspired spring, with fabulous skirts, Mary Poppins shoes, and a flippy haircut to boot.

But alas, spring sprung without any warning.... And I am not prepared...

What is a girl to do?  ¶ 8:17 AM 0 comments

  Life is demanding without understanding I went to meet a friend for life chats last night.

First of all let me be the one to tell you that damn am I good.

My uncanny ability to know what was going to be stated prior to the statement being made was spot on last night. SPOT ON!

But not the point to this story- The point of this story is Ace of Base.

Remember them? Sure you do.

As we sat discussing the moon and all things that lay underneath it, we randomly broke out into song...

"I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign...

Life is demanding without understanding..."

If only it were that easy...  ¶ 7:09 AM 1 comments