A purge of thought. At the risk of taking away from the beauty of my very gaudy ring, I have something on my mind... Tugging at me... And I need to remove it.

I feel the need for change. I feel the need for something new, something shiny, something different. I don't think I am ready to grow up, and with graduation looming closer by the day, I find it hard to go to class. I am not ready. (Insert jokes about being 24 and still in college here.)

But the bottom line is, I made some choices, and walked some paths that made me be grown up. It is overrated.

I am not ready for the real world. I am ready for real money, but the thought of pushing papers and sitting behind a desk for forty hours a week makes my gag reflex work overtime.

It is not the people that I am leaving. I love the people that are in my life, I love my friends, I love my family. I couldn't do what I do without them...

I know it is inevitable. I know that one day I will have to bite the bullet and do it. But that day is not today.

Today, I decided I want to do something unforgettable this summer. I want to be somewhere that is sunny with lots of pools all summer. I would also like to make money.

Tall order, I know. But I have a couple of choices.

1) Go back to Disney, and complete a summer internship.

2) Be a camp counselor.

I became so wrapped up in the idea of sun and water that I applied. To both. I then bounced my plan off of three people. Reactions???

Scotty Pants: Go for it. Have fun with that.

June 'The Bitch' Cleaver: Lots of yelling via AIM, and then in essence an 'I will no longer discuss this with you' hang up. (Which is signing off without saying goodbye- in our little nettiquite world... That is very hostile)

Mother: "Well if you make that choice, I will choose to sell the house and move." (Thereby fucking me for the rest of my collegiate time. As I will have no free place to live, and will then have to go to work full time, go to school full time, and be generally full time busy. Which, as most of you know, will make for an extremely unhappy S'Ghetti)

Well FUCK!!!

And the thing is that I made myself a promise not too long ago that I would be my own biggest fan, I would be my own biggest supporter, I would never NEVER NEVER lose myself in anyone or anything ever again. I promised all of that. Not to someone, to myself.

So if I back down off of my plan, is it selfish? Is it smart? Or is it giving in, and thereby breaking my pact with myself?  ¶ 8:54 PM