Monday, September 18, 2006
Work it girl
Ahhhhh the pride parade. It will teach you many a thing.
This year was no different.
Behold, a list of the things I learned yesterday at the pride parade.
1) Large Lesbians with Large snakes(p.s. Snakes are the number one carrier of E. Coli) should be avoided, or they will try to make you pet their little friend.
2) Thin seems to be on its way out in the gay world. Pour queso in your coffee cup. It is time to plump up.
3) Rain may make your outfit less than fabulous. But it is fine all the same.
4) Vodka probably isn't a safe choice if the doctor puts you on a clear liquid diet.
5) DIVA fame spreads outside of the brunch circle and into the general public when you are greeted with 'OOOHHHH I know you. YOu are the only female on The Detroit Boys wall!'
6) My brunch group is better than yours. Hands down.
7) Haloween is going to trump all this year.
8) Good friends WILL tell the eleven year old with a spitting problem that is standing in your viscinity to stay away from you because of the unadulterated hatred for children.
9) Paying $50 for a table does not give you free reign to be an uncontrollable bitch.
10) All of the crap the parade people throw out is NOT worth fighting for (Ahem. JeffJeffJeff)
11) If you choose to be on a float, you should get coaching lessons on the toe pop and cheesy grin from the famed Southwest Employee with the pompoms and the airplane around his waist. ¶ 3:07 PM
This year was no different.
Behold, a list of the things I learned yesterday at the pride parade.
1) Large Lesbians with Large snakes(p.s. Snakes are the number one carrier of E. Coli) should be avoided, or they will try to make you pet their little friend.
2) Thin seems to be on its way out in the gay world. Pour queso in your coffee cup. It is time to plump up.
3) Rain may make your outfit less than fabulous. But it is fine all the same.
4) Vodka probably isn't a safe choice if the doctor puts you on a clear liquid diet.
5) DIVA fame spreads outside of the brunch circle and into the general public when you are greeted with 'OOOHHHH I know you. YOu are the only female on The Detroit Boys wall!'
6) My brunch group is better than yours. Hands down.
7) Haloween is going to trump all this year.
8) Good friends WILL tell the eleven year old with a spitting problem that is standing in your viscinity to stay away from you because of the unadulterated hatred for children.
9) Paying $50 for a table does not give you free reign to be an uncontrollable bitch.
10) All of the crap the parade people throw out is NOT worth fighting for (Ahem. JeffJeffJeff)
11) If you choose to be on a float, you should get coaching lessons on the toe pop and cheesy grin from the famed Southwest Employee with the pompoms and the airplane around his waist. ¶ 3:07 PM
