I am angry. Let me start this by saying: I had a superb night with wonderful company. And I am not in any part angry about that.

But I am angry all the same.

As Signalite put it, people are wonderous, and broken, all at the same time. I definitely fall into that category.

For a while, when I shattered, I lost my ability to harness my temper. There was no fiery anger or yelling. It was quite simply, an internalization. I had lost my greatest power, my linguistic skill.

It was like being a turtle without a shell. When people said they were sorry, I would automatically say it was ok, even when it really was anything but. When I didn't want to do something, I would do it anyways, so not to rock the proverbial boat.

But today, for the first time in a long time, I am angry. I am not just a scathing heap of internalized angry, and I have my words as wind in my sail.

Strangely, it is empowering to be mad when you are mad. It feels oddly good. It is almost comparable to putting your feet in the perfect shoes, where you know they will fit. Even though I hate to be angry. It is, without a doubt, bittersweet.

It is a feeling I vow to never appologize for.  ¶ 9:13 PM