I wish I was kidding. Today marked me and my first real day of the new job.

The perks that go with this job are fantastic. I have an administrative assistant at my disposal, I get paid well, I love what I do, and I am not bound by office hours. What could be bad about it?

And then it happened. I met said 'Administrative Assistant.'

She was a bouncy, hyper, talkative girl. A touch too bouncy, hyper, and talkative. Honestly, I was willing to overlook it... Because, after all, I am 24 years old, and I have an Administrative Assistant at my disposal.

And then it happened, She was sitting at her desk, talking to me/herself, and said "Oh, I have a date tonight, I think I smell, I wonder if I smell ((bends over and sticks her nose up her skirt, takes a big whiff and sits back up)) I don't smell, I have wipes for those days when I dont have time to take showers But I don't smell like fish or anything So I don't smell"

There I was, staring at this **very interesting** girl. Shocked. Completely and totally shocked.

I was so shocked that she rendered me speechless. Completely, Totally, Speechless.

And that, my friends, is a very rare thing.  ¶ 12:02 AM