Friday, January 05, 2007
The Prelude to my Prayer
I don't hear their prayers... I only hear mine. I wish I heard both.
I forget to say thank you for the things that I have been blessed with. I forget to appologize for the things that I don't mean. I forget to tell you how much it means that my gift in this life is not to sit behind a desk, or to do something aesthetic. I forget that my gift from god acts as a gift to others too. I am sorry, and thank you.
Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I get consumed. I shouldn't be either, and I am working on that. When I carry out my gift, it shouldn't matter that I can't afford the finer things in life. It still does, and I am working on that too. I wish every day that something would change about the fiscal end. Even if it doesn't-- I will still try.
I can't judge my ability based on the ability of the whole that I represent. I do that. I shouldn't.
I can't get mad for the things that people don't say. I do that too. I wish people would say what they meant. I will try very hard not to get mad about the things I wish with all of my heart that they meant, but in the end, they don't mean.
I will try to look at all failures as blessings. That includes the one huge failure of my past that will probably haunt me until the day I die. I know why it haunts me. If it didn't haunt me, I may have forgotten already, and that is something I definately don't want. So thank you for that too.
Make them know that they are the bravest girls in the world. Make him know that he didn't save my life, but definately made me believe in things I had stopped believing in all too long ago. Make her know that I will love her until the end of time. Make her know that I will forever be in her debt for all of the sacrifices that she has made. Make him know there is something better for him, and make him know that even if a family is never formed for him-- he will always have a place in mine. Make those boys know that they have given me more peace and happiness than I could ever have imagined. Make them all know. ¶ 11:49 AM
I forget to say thank you for the things that I have been blessed with. I forget to appologize for the things that I don't mean. I forget to tell you how much it means that my gift in this life is not to sit behind a desk, or to do something aesthetic. I forget that my gift from god acts as a gift to others too. I am sorry, and thank you.
Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I get consumed. I shouldn't be either, and I am working on that. When I carry out my gift, it shouldn't matter that I can't afford the finer things in life. It still does, and I am working on that too. I wish every day that something would change about the fiscal end. Even if it doesn't-- I will still try.
I can't judge my ability based on the ability of the whole that I represent. I do that. I shouldn't.
I can't get mad for the things that people don't say. I do that too. I wish people would say what they meant. I will try very hard not to get mad about the things I wish with all of my heart that they meant, but in the end, they don't mean.
I will try to look at all failures as blessings. That includes the one huge failure of my past that will probably haunt me until the day I die. I know why it haunts me. If it didn't haunt me, I may have forgotten already, and that is something I definately don't want. So thank you for that too.
Make them know that they are the bravest girls in the world. Make him know that he didn't save my life, but definately made me believe in things I had stopped believing in all too long ago. Make her know that I will love her until the end of time. Make her know that I will forever be in her debt for all of the sacrifices that she has made. Make him know there is something better for him, and make him know that even if a family is never formed for him-- he will always have a place in mine. Make those boys know that they have given me more peace and happiness than I could ever have imagined. Make them all know. ¶ 11:49 AM
