Spaghetti and Truthballs
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
  A DIVA intervention
I fear for my fellow divas life. Really, I do.

My nearest and dearest diva recently referred to a fantastic fondue outing as "Overpriced cook it yourself hoopla"

And I am afraid. Very afraid.

Ever since June turned in her keys to the city of Dallas, she has been out and about in hick town. Doing things like playing pool, not enjoying overpriced dinners, picking up the venacular of the locals (words like hoopla do not exist in the diva dictionary), and two stepping.

It is my summation that she is in her own personal hand basket to hell. And I must stop it.

If she continues down this path the next thing we know, she will be hocking her Fendi and buying purses at Wal Mart, drinking Orange flavored Boones Farm and calling it a mimosa, and living in a home that has plastic pink flamingos gracefully poised among the flower beds.

I am holding a fantastic piece of jewelry to entice you June... Come back to the light!
 
Comments:
I have to say I'm Texan through and through - from the tip of my butterfly emossed Justins to the top of my leopard print cowgirl hat. (editors note: worn only on cultural occasions that warrant their use) I have to frequent cowtown periodically because I have relatives who are in fact professional bullriders.

As long as my beloved Katie doesn't start singing this song:

"Don't need no diamond ring
Don't want a bunch of bling bling
The only thing I really need
Is a man with a skoal ring
Don't have to be wined and dined
We can stay home every night
I can do without anything
Except a man with a skoal ring

He works a ten hour shift
And comes home right on time
He don't complain a bit
When I get out of line
He ain't rich and
He might have a little dirt on his hands
But that worn-out circle on his jeans
Makes him my kind of man"

I will remain confident that she is merely on vacation and not infact planning to spend her weekends making casseroles, discussing the virtues of WalMart with the locals and frying spam.

I LOVE YOU KATIE!
 
If you need couture from Wal-Mart, I think I still have a vest. It is lovely and sparkly!
 
Darling Diva Katie,

I'm glad to see you're walking towards the light and reaching for your true accessories.

You may have already been affected by continued exposure as you have spelled Saks incorrectly. Refresh your memory by indulging in a day at the spa - you do afterall have a gift certificate!

If you're looking for a delightful distraction in the form of a cowboy please think more King Ranch / wealthy oil barron and less ... well the oposite.

I'm all for "cowboying up" with the right cowboy :)

LOVE YOU (you'll thank me later for being so blunt)

- A concerned Diva Extraordinare
 
June, you don't mean it. You DON'T like Walmart. You like TARGET. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you S'Ghetti.

Hoopla. Do people USE that word anymore?

Entice her with a pair of Kenneth Cole Shoes.
 
Well then, Mr Styles, since I do shop at Target, I guess I am one of those "Backwards, Deliverance watching, Skoal Chewing Hillbillies." And might I say, "Boy, you sure do have a purty mouth. Squeel like a pig for me."
 
Styles are there no Wally Worlds in Canada? They do stink, but in some places a necessary evil. I stay clear of them because I hate them, but that's just me. I do shop at Target, and like Scott I can't say as I'm backwards or chew tobacco.
 
Maybe it's a Canada thing?
 
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