Jaded For the last five months, I have become this tangled ball of emotions.

I turned into this exceptionally Jaded and extremely untrusting person.

It was one bad experience after another, after another, after another.

And the proverbial garden of life was ridded of weeds- and it hurt pretty bad to lose some people I thought would never ever stray.

What I didn't realize in all of this is that I would grow to understand myself so much better. I now know what I can take and what I can't. I now know that the only person who can break down the walls that I have constructed to ensure my heart never shatters again is myself. I now know that there are people who have to be forced to love you from a distance because they don't know how to love you up close. I now know a lot of lessons that I should have never had to learn.

I also know that some of the judgements I have cast on people in the past are wrong. For better or for worse- I thought some people were 'safe' and they weren't. I thought some people were 'shifty' and all the while they were not either.

I made an executive decision today, the bitch quotient is going to go down considerably. The jaded and untrusting quotient is also going to go down.

I am still hurt, and I still dont understand it all.... But I think it is time that I stop using the world as my punching bag.

This does not, however, mean that the truth balls of destruction are going to cease. Some things never do change.  ¶ 11:50 PM