Box it up baby, on to 2006. New Years Plans have been squared away.

Life has been squared away.

2005 is pretty much squared away.

And the last few days of 2005 was a total success in my book. So to make 2006 as memorable as possible, I have decided to make a few changes. To the calendar, that is.

Blog readers worldwide, I will now unveil my top secret plan of 'calendar reinvention'

January will be a dual purpose month. Not only will it be a time that people will try to fulfil their New Years Resolutions, but it will also become lent. I see no reason to suffer for two months when we can combine the two and have just one month to suffer.

February is the holder of Valentines Day, which I hate (and for the record I am an equal opportunity hater- whether I am in a relationship or not-). So I have decided to change it. Valentines Day will still exist, but it will be a day to celebrate your best friend. If your best friend happens to be the one you knock boots with, so be it. Red roses will henceforth be eliminated (as will carnations- but that should have happened long ago) and an appropriate gift for the NEW and IMPROVED Valentines Day will be posted when it is more pertinent (Like sometime in February) but I am thinking electronic devices...

March will become the "Celebration of Dr. Suess" and every March 2nd, all career professionals will be required to dress up as one of the infamous characters. This blessed day marks the birth of the man himself.

April fools day will be replaced with the day that we singles make fun of you coupled folks. This poking of fun will last for twenty four hours, and the jokes cannot be cruel or harmful. But I reserve the right to call all of those who have no business being in a relationship into question (IE the people that hate their spouses but stay together out of fear of the unknown, etc.)

May and June will be marked by sending all good Mothers and Fathers on cruises. Who decides who is a good mother and father? Easy, that would be Santa Claus (he has the most naughty and nice experience).

Fourth of July will no longer be about Barbecue. I dont like it. Instead we will be having five star meals, and fireworks displays will go on every night for the entire month. I like fire works.

August and September are really only celebrations for students. We students will be paid $5.00 a day for every day we attend classes. The tooth fairy will be in charge for doling out the dough.

October has some very important changes in store for it. We young adults will be taking Haloween back from the grubby little children. Instead of candy, everyone will be assigned a letter. A or B. A's are in charge of buying liquor, B's in charge of greasy food. Then all adults between certain ages (21-37) will trick or treat, not with buckets, but with shot glasses. Too drunk? Need a snack? Look for a house with greasy food. Sounds good to me.

November is the month that holds my birthday, A newly declared National Holiday. It will be henceforth referred to as "all hail rebecca day" and everyone will carry their best accessories in order to pay homage to me.

December will be left as it is, but everyone will be required to light up their house festively because I like it. Also, everyone is officially excused from being so damned PC and can say the naughty words like Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. If any one gets offended, they will just have to do some hard time in the idiots jail.

Agree, Disagree, I don't care. It is my calendar- but any additions can be submitted and I will take them under further review.  ¶ 7:03 PM